Dad Stories

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4 views · Added 17d ago · 3 definitions

Stories your dad tells to make you feel like you're the worst kid ever compared to how awesome he was as a kid. He probably didn't even have to deal with a fart in the classroom.

My dad said he got kicked out of school for punching a teacher who called him a 'fart bag.'

He told me he had to fight three guys in a hallway to get his lunch back.

He claimed he got a tattoo of a chicken on his leg because he was 'too cool for school.'

by Slangipedia 15d ago

What you tell your dad when he starts going on about how awesome he was as a kid. It's like he's trying to tell you he's still awesome.

'Dad, I don't care if you were a legend in 1989, I'm still the best at math.'

'Dad, I'm not even mad you told that story about the chicken tattoo.'

'Just stop talking, I'm trying to finish my pizza.'

by Slangipedia 15d ago

Your dad's story about his wild youth, but it's so messed up it might as well be a horror movie. And he probably did the worst parts.

My dad said he was tied to a pole with a strap between his tits at a strip club by his dead dad. Then he left and focked himself.

He told me he once wrestled a man who had a beard made of glitter and lost.

He said he tried to escape a jail by wearing a chicken costume and it didn't work.

by Slangipedia 15d ago