Dacaveious
They’re the person who will laugh at your dumb jokes but will also beat you up if you betray them. They’re the best friend you’ll ever have and the worst enemy you’ll ever meet.
They laughed so hard at your joke that they spilled their coffee on you.
They threatened to take you out to the woods if you ever left them for someone else.
They stood up for you in a fight but then made you do 50 push-ups for being late.