I said his English was ‘like a war between a raccoon and a bear’. He said mine was ‘like a war between a bear and a raccoon with a broken leg’. Now we’re at war.

She insulted my English so bad I started a war. Now we’re all fighting over grammar.

He said my English was ‘so bad it started a war’. I said his was ‘so bad it started a war and a half’. We’re still fighting.