da_lazy_thing

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5 views · Added 16d ago · 6 definitions

1
The laziest person ever. They don’t even bother to breathe properly. Just lay there like a dead dog in a hot car.
I asked them to do a task. They said, 'I’ll do it... tomorrow.'
They didn’t even reply to my message. Just stared at the ceiling like it was a crime scene.
They tried to do something but fell asleep halfway through.
2
A human version of a couch. They sit, they lay, they don’t move. They’re like a pizza that never gets eaten.
They told me they’d come to the party. I waited. They never showed. Just one text: 'I’m still on the couch.'
They had a whole day to finish homework. They used it to nap.
They got a message saying their dog was missing. They said, 'I’ll deal with it tomorrow.'
3
They’re so lazy, they think blinking is a full workout. They’re like a zombie who forgot to eat brains.
They promised to clean their room. They still have cereal boxes from last year.
I asked them to help me move. They said, 'I’ll help... after I finish my nap.'
They were supposed to be at work. They were still in pajamas.
4
They’re the reason why the word 'lazy' was invented. They don’t even try. They just lay there like a fried egg on a hot pan.
They got a message from their mom. They replied with 'I’m still in bed.'
They said they’d come to the meeting. They showed up 30 minutes late and still looked tired.
They were given an assignment. They said, 'I’ll do it... next year.'
5
They’re like a robot that forgot how to move. They don’t do anything. They just stare at the ceiling like it’s a conspiracy.
They told me they’d be here in five minutes. They showed up in 15 and still looked confused.
They were given a task. They said, 'I’ll do it... when I feel like it.'
They got a text from their boss. They replied with 'I’m still at home.'
6
They’re the human version of a do-nothing machine. They don’t move. They don’t think. They just lay there like a blob in a hot tub.
They promised to help me. They didn’t show up. Just one message: 'I’m still lazy.'
They were given a test. They said, 'I’ll do it... next week.'
They were supposed to be at school. They stayed home and watched cartoons.
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