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A poser English major who’s never read a book, plays the same two chords on his guitar like a broken parrot, and quotes Bojack Horseman every ten minutes like it’s his job. He’s got mommy issues, a laugh that’s infectious but annoying, and will probably murder your brain cells if you don’t stop him.
You quote Bojack more than you talk. It’s scary.
That shirt is the only thing you wear. You’re a fashion disaster.
You play that guitar so much, it’s probably jealous of you.