Da Sumo

My cousin is a Da Sumo. She eats so much, I think she’s trying to become a human donut.

At the gym, my trainer called me a Da Sumo. I told him I was just doing a 10-hour burrito session.

My mom’s a Da Sumo. She once tried to wear a dress, and it just fell off her like it was embarrassed.

My neighbor is a Da Sumo. She once ate an entire cake and then a whole pie for breakfast.

My friend’s a Da Sumo. She tried to do yoga and just fell over like a sack of bricks.

At the mall, I saw a Da Sumo and thought, ‘That woman could bench-press me with her belly.’

My aunt is a Da Sumo. She once tried to wear a bra and it just exploded from the pressure.

At the restaurant, my Da Sumo friend ordered three burgers and a side of fries. The waiter looked scared.

My Da Sumo cousin once tried to sit on a chair and it just broke from the weight.