DA PORKSTA

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A meatball-shaped kid who eats so much he looks like he's been stuffed into a sausage casing

I saw DA PORKSTA at the buffet and he took three helpings of lasagna like it was a religion.

DA PORKSTA tried to fit into the car and it looked like a limo got stuck in a meat grinder.

DA PORKSTA's lunch break is longer than my entire workday.

A kid so round he could be a pizza and still have room for extra cheese

DA PORKSTA walked into the gym and the floor creaked like it was holding up a mountain.

DA PORKSTA sat down at the table and the chair broke like it was insulted.

DA PORKSTA's backpack looked like it was carrying a whole buffet.

A kid who eats so much he looks like he’s been dipped in sauce and left in the sun

DA PORKSTA ate the whole pizza and still asked for a side of garlic bread like it was a birthday gift.

DA PORKSTA’s mom called him ‘the human meatball’ and he didn’t even flinch.

DA PORKSTA tried to do a cartwheel and it looked like a meatball rolling down a hill.