Da Breast
It's the best friend you have, but only if they're on the left side. Otherwise, they're just a meat sack you have to deal with.
My left breast is my bestie. My right breast is just a meat sack I pretend to know.
Left breast is the one who texts me back. Right breast? Doesn't even know my number.
Left breast is the one who shows up to my life. Right breast shows up to my death.