baboonaphile

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A guy who gets off on getting it on with fuzzy humans who think they’re baboons and act like they’ve got a full-time job being loud and stupid.

My cousin's a baboonaphile. He dates zookeepers just so he can get in the cage with the baboons.

I saw him at the mall. He was trying to flirt with a guy in a baboon costume.

He once tried to propose to a baboon. It rejected him. He cried.

This is someone who's so messed up they'd rather have sex with a baboon than a normal person. They probably never got laid in high school.

My uncle's a baboonaphile. He once had a baboon in his basement. It bit him.

He told me he'd rather have a baboon's butt than his ex's face.

He tried to convince the whole family that baboons are the future of love.

A guy who likes his women to be all hairy and hard to shave, like they’ve been living in a cave for 10 years.

My dad’s a baboonaphile. He dated my aunt’s gym teacher because she had a full beard.

He once tried to date a guy. He said, 'You’re too clean.'

He told me he'd rather shave a baboon than shave his own face.

A person who likes to give baboons a rough time and maybe even a little butt stuff.

My neighbor’s a baboonaphile. He once took a baboon to a strip club.

He told me he’s been in a fight with a baboon. He lost.

He tried to get a baboon to do his taxes. It threw a banana at him.

A man who prefers his women to be big, ugly, and maybe a little bit gross.

My brother’s a baboonaphile. He dated a woman who looked like a potato with a face.

He told me he’d rather date a baboon than his mom.

He once asked a baboon out on a date. It said no.

A person who likes to mess with baboons or anyone who smells, looks, or acts like one.

My cousin’s a baboonaphile. He once took a baboon to a bar. It drank 10 beers.

He told me he’s been in a fight with a baboon. He got a black eye.

He once told a baboon he was the love of his life. It threw a banana at him.

A guy who loves hanging out with young baboons and telling them sweet stuff just so he can get a good butt scratch in the jungle.

My uncle’s a baboonaphile. He once took a baboon on a date to the zoo.

He told me he's been in love with a baboon since he was 12.

He once told a baboon he was the love of his life. It said, 'No. You’re the one who threw a banana at me.'