B. Wrecks
A B. Wreck is a woman who thinks she’s a princess but is really just a middle-aged person who got a face lift from a kid with a glitter pen. She wears sunglasses in a club, carries a big bag like it’s the Eiffel Tower, and talks to people like they’re her servants.
My coworker came in wearing sunglasses, a wig, and a bag that looked like it held a small animal. She said, 'I’m doing my daily royal duty.'
My friend’s B. Wreck came to the mall in sunglasses and a dress that looked like it was made of glue. I said, 'You look like a failed art project.'
I saw my cousin’s B. Wreck at the gas station wearing sunglasses and a wig. She said, 'I’m going to Paris next week.'