B-52 Eddie Bauer
A lie so big it could make a bull cry. It’s something your teacher says with the confidence of someone who thinks they’re a superhero. But it’s not in the book.
My teacher said Eddie Bauer fought dragons. I said, 'He probably just fought my brother.'
She told us he invented the internet in 1952. I said, 'Then why am I still using dial-up?'
He said Eddie Bauer flew faster than a cheetah. I said, 'He probably flew slower than my cousin.'