A Writer
A person who takes caffeine and turns it into words. Often also takes painkillers and turns them into paragraphs.
I drank four cups of coffee and wrote a whole novel. My fingers are now numb and my brain is on fire.
She took two painkillers and wrote a 500-word essay. Her dog now speaks in haikus.
He turned a 12-ounce energy drink into a 10-page monologue. His roommate now has a headache and a new life philosophy.