A Tim

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1
A Tim is the worst kind of joke you can ever hear. It's like getting hit with a wet sock and then being forced to laugh.
Tim: "Why did the chicken cross the road?" Me: "I don't know." Tim: "To get to the other side, you idiot!" #TimJoke #WorstJokeEver
Tim told a joke so bad it made the dog cry. #TimJoke #DogCry
Tim said, "I'm a joke." I said, "No, you're a punchline that nobody wants." #TimJoke #PunchlineFail
2
A Tim is the guy who gets blamed for everything. If the moon fell out of the sky, Tim would be the one who tripped it.
Teacher: "Who broke the chair?" Tim: "I didn't." Class: "Yes you did, Tim." #BlameTim #TimBlameGame
At the party, Tim was blamed for spilling the punch. He didn't even touch it. #TimBlame #PartyFail
Mom: "Why is the dog barking?" Tim: "I don't know." Mom: "Then why are you the one who got blamed?" #TimBlame #TimBlameLife
3
A Tim is a guy who can't see love, but all the girls are falling for him. He's like a meatball with a side of pasta. Girls love him, but he doesn't know why.
Tim: "I don't know why they like me." Girl: "Because you're cute." Tim: "No, I'm just a meatball." #TimLove #MeatballMan
Tim walked into a room, and all the girls turned. He didn't even do anything. #TimLove #GirlMagnet
Girl: "I like you, Tim." Tim: "Why?" Girl: "Because you're like a meatball." #TimLove #TimMeatball
4
A Tim is another name for Timberland boots. They're ugly, they're tough, and they’re like a second skin for people who hate fashion.
Tim wore his boots to the party. He looked like a walking mud puddle. #TimBoots #MudPuddleMan
Tim’s boots were so loud, they woke up the neighbor’s dog. #TimBoots #LoudBoots
Tim walked into the room. The boots said, "We're here." #TimBoots #TimBootsRule
5
A Tim is a flash. It means to tempt him. It's like a girl saying, "Look at me" while showing her belly button and then acting surprised when he gets turned on.
Girl: "Look at me, Tim." Tim: "Why?" Girl: "Because I'm hot." Tim: "You're not hot, you're just showing your belly button." #TimFlash #BellyButtonFail
Tim saw a flash and immediately wanted to have sex. #TimFlash #FlashLife
Girl: "I’m flashing you, Tim." Tim: "I see your belly button. What else?" #TimFlash #FlashFail
6
A Tim is a Siamese twin with zero imagination. Or it's a tiny boat that goes like 2.8 mph. Either way, it's not cool.
Tim was a twin. His brother was a twin. They were both stuck with boring parents. #TimTwin #BoringParents
Tim was a boat. It went 2.8 mph. That's slower than my grandma. #TimBoat #SlowBoat
Tim is a boat. I think he’s pretending to be a twin. #TimBoat #TimTwin #TimLife
7
A Tim is a guy who is perfect in every way. He's smart, strong, and has a great style. But sometimes he argues and can't make up his mind. Still, he's the best guy you can have.
Tim is smart, strong, and has great taste. I don’t know why he’s still single. #TimPerfection #TimLife
Tim argues with me every day. I think he's trying to get me tired. #TimArgue #TimLife
Tim is the best friend. He's the best lover. He just can't decide what he wants. #TimPerfection #TimLife
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