a they

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A confused human who refuses to pick a gender and makes everyone else pick up the mess.

They texted me: 'I’m not a he or a she. I’m a mystery box. Open it and cry.'

At the DMV, they said, 'I’m not a man, I’m not a woman, I’m a middle finger to your questions.'

In class, they raised their hand and said, 'I’m a they. You’re all wrong.'

A human who thinks they’re special and insists you call them ‘they’ even when you’re not paying attention.

They posted on TikTok: 'They is the new me. You are the old me. I’m superior.'

In a group chat, they said, 'You keep calling me ‘he’ like I’m a boy. I’m a they. You’re all wrong.'

During a Zoom call, they interrupted: 'Excuse me, I’m not a he or a she. I’m a they. You’re all stupid.'

A person who thinks they’re the only one who ever had to deal with this nonsense.

They texted me: 'You think this is new? I’ve been a they since third grade. You’re just now figuring it out?'

They said in a tweet: 'You kids with your ‘they’ nonsense. I had to deal with it before you even had phones.'

During a conversation, they said, 'You think you’re the first person to be a they? I was one before your mom was born.'