A Terrible Life
They followed your advice but still felt like a used-up sock. You're just a jerk who likes to feel important.
They followed your advice but still sat on the couch and watched sad TV. You're a jerk.
They followed your advice but still ate the same sad cereal every day. You're a jerk.
They followed your advice but still texted you at 3 a. m. about their problems. You're a jerk.