A Rusty Spoon

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Spooning with your girlfriend when she is on her period and it feels like you're licking a rusty toilet.

My girlfriend just kicked me out of bed. Said I was 'rusty spooning' and it was 'the worst'

I tried to spoon her, she was bleeding, I felt like I'd died.

My girlfriend cried during rusty spooning. I think she got her period and it was a surprise.

A spoon that looks like it was used to scrape the bottom of a dog’s bowl and then left in a sewer for 50 years.

This spoon is so rusty, it’s like it was used to stir feces.

My grandma’s spoon is so rusty, it looks like it was in a chicken coop.

That spoon is older than my grandpa’s teeth.

When you love something so much it feels like you're getting a full-on blow job from a statue.

That pizza was so good, it was like a rusty spoon moment.

I had the best rusty spoon moment when I ate that chocolate cake.

That movie was so good, it was like a rusty spoon.

Scooping with someone who looks like they could be your grandpa’s grandpa and smells like old socks and regret.

I spooned with my grandpa’s grandpa. He smelled like a sock drawer.

Spoon with that old man and you'll know what a rusty spoon is.

I spooned with a guy who looked like he hadn't brushed his teeth since the last century.

When you spoon with someone and they end up pooping on you and it turns into a hard crust that you can’t wash off for weeks.

I spooned with my friend and she pooped on me. Now I have a crust on my back.

My girlfriend pooped on me during rusty spooning. It was legendary.

I spooned with my brother and now I have a crust from his poopy business.

When you haven’t had sex in so long, you don’t know how to have it anymore and it’s like you’re trying to speak a language you forgot.

I haven’t had sex in years. Now it’s like I’m trying to speak French.

My rusty spoon skills are bad. I think I just forgot how to do it.

I tried to have sex and it was like I was trying to do a dance I didn’t know.

A guy uses a spoon to wipe off his cum and then serves it to her like it’s breakfast and it's the worst thing she's ever had.

My boyfriend used a spoon to wipe his cum and served it to me. I threw it out.

He used a spoon to wipe cum and served it like it was omelets.

He used a spoon to wipe his cum and called it breakfast. I was horrified.