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A pro pooper who plays the poop game like it's their full-time job. They know all the fancy poop phrases and take their time going number two like it's a royal event.
I saw him in the bathroom for 20 minutes. He was like, 'This is a sacred moment.'
He said, 'I'm not just pooping, I'm performing.'
He told the toilet, 'You better hold your deuces tight, because I'm about to drop a bomb.'