A Portland pie
A Portland pie is when some kid beats the crap out of your car with a bat and then throws a pizza and a soda in it and lets the sun melt it all together like it’s a pie in an oven.
My car was like a pie that got hit with a bat and filled with pizza and soda.
I found my car full of pizza and soda like it was a pie that got baked in the sun.
My car looked like it was in a pie factory and got smashed by a kid.