a Petrie

Current Trending

4 views · Added 17d ago · 7 definitions

1
A Petri is a Finnish dude who thinks he's a tough guy because of some old rock guy from the Bible. His female version, Petra, is a goddess with a body that could make a saint blush and a porn star cry.
My cousin Petri tried to fight a bear. It was just a bear. He got beat up and cried.
Petra walked into a bar. The bar got a new lease on life.
Petri called me a rock. I called him a pebble. He cried.
2
If you're named Petri, you're basically perfect, but also kind of a weirdo who thinks they're god.
Petri got an A+ on a test. He said it was because he was a god. His teacher said he was a weirdo.
Petri told the class he was amazing, kind, and had a porn star body. No one believed him.
Petri said he was 'epic' and 'glorious.' His friends said he was 'epicly glorious.'
3
A Petri is when you and all your pets try to fit in one bed like you're all insane and also in love.
My dog, my cat, and my hamster tried to fit in my bed. It looked like a disaster zone.
Petri and his three dogs tried to sleep in one bed. It looked like a warzone.
My sister, her two cats, and her turtle tried to sleep in one bed. It was a disaster.
4
A Petri is when guys play Tetris with their dicks like they're trying to win a game and also impress their friends.
Petri was playing Tetris with his dick in the bathroom. His friend walked in and died.
My brother played Tetris with his penis and lost. He cried.
Petri said he was the best at penis Tetris. His friends said he was the worst.
5
A Petri is a short, fat, holy nightmare who puts random questions on exams that make you want to burn the school down.
My Petri teacher put a question about the meaning of life on an exam. I cried.
Petri put a question about the history of bread on an exam. I failed.
Petri said religion was important. I said it was a nightmare.
6
To pull a Petri is to ghost a group chat for a few minutes and then come back like you're the king of the world.
Petri left the group chat for 10 minutes. He came back and said he was the king of the world.
I pulled a Petri. My friends said I was a ghost.
Petri left the group chat and came back with a pizza. He was the king.
7
A Petri is another word for a guy's shaft, like it's the most important thing in the world.
My Petri is the most important thing in my life. I told my teacher.
Petri said his shaft was the best. His friend said it was the worst.
My Petri is so big, it's a legend.
xs