A NED FLANDERS
A guy who worships God so much he probably thinks the devil’s a bad customer service rep. His kids are creepy and named after the worst kind of meat.
Ned came to my house with a Bible and a t-shirt bazooka. He shot me with a t-shirt and said 'Diddly!' 20 times.
He tried to propose to me and my dog at the same time. It was weird.
He showed up at my job and said I was 'diddly lazy.' My boss fired me.