A Mench

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A Mench is a brainiac who thinks they're the smartest person in the room. They talk like they just graduated from genius school.

My math teacher is a Mench. He once solved a problem that took me three hours in, like, ten seconds.

My cousin is a Mench. She can name every planet in the solar system and still beat me at chess.

My neighbor is a Mench. He reads books while eating pizza and still has time to text me insults.

A Mench is a Yiddish word for someone so nice they'd let you borrow their last sock and still say you're the best friend they ever had.

My mom is a Mench. She let me eat her lunch and still said I was the best kid in the world.

My uncle is a Mench. He gave me his old phone and still said I was the coolest kid he ever knew.

My teacher is a Mench. She let me copy her homework and still said I was the smartest student in the class.

A Mench is when your pet lays down and looks like it's about to die, but still manages to snore like a construction site.

My dog is a Mench. He lays down like he just ran a marathon and snores so loud I can't sleep.

My cat is a Mench. She puts her head between her paws like she’s about to pass out and still meows like she’s winning a battle.

My hamster is a Mench. He lays down like he’s dying and still chews through my shoes like it’s a job.

A Mench is ten bucks worth of weed. Enough to get you high, but not enough to make you forget your own name.

My friend bought a Mench. He got high and still remembered my name.

My cousin bought a Mench. He got high and still knew where his shoes were.

My brother bought a Mench. He got high and still remembered how to text me insults.

A Mench is a man-bench. It’s where guys sit and wait for their wives to come out of the store, like they’re waiting for a miracle.

My dad sits on the Mench like it’s his throne. He waits for my mom to come out of the store like she’s a queen.

My uncle sits on the Mench like it’s his throne. He waits for his wife to come out of the store like he’s a king.

My brother sits on the Mench like it’s his throne. He waits for his wife to come out of the store like he’s been waiting for 10 years.

A Mench is like hench but even more hench. It’s so hench it’s like hench squared.

My friend is a Mench. He’s so hench he can fight three guys at once and still has time to text me insults.

My cousin is a Mench. He’s so hench he can run a marathon and still beat me at chess.

My brother is a Mench. He’s so hench he can eat a whole pizza and still have time to text me insults.

A Mench is short for mention. It’s like when you say something so short it’s barely a word, but it still means something.

My friend said a Mench. He just said ‘cool’ and that was it.

My cousin said a Mench. He just said ‘okay’ and that was it.

My brother said a Mench. He just said ‘fine’ and that was it.