A Matt Damon

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#dumb friend#Team America#retard puppet

6 views · Added 17d ago · 7 definitions

1
A Matt Damon is when your friend does something so dumb it makes you want to punch them. They’re like a brain-dead puppet from Team America, just yelling ‘Matt Damon’ over and over like a f***ing idiot.
My friend tried to explain a joke and said ‘I don’t get it’ like he was a f***ing retard.
He walked into a wall and said ‘I didn’t see it.’ Like he’s a brain-dead puppet.
He tried to flirt with my mom and said, ‘You’re cute.’ Like he was f***ing high.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
2
A Matt Damon is the guy who thinks he’s a god, can turn a spoon into a lightsaber, and somehow drinks more water than all of Africa combined. He’s like a f***ing superhero with a tiny brain.
He turned a paperclip into a sword and said, ‘This is the future of combat.’
He promised to save Africa from thirst and then drank a whole bottle of soda.
He claimed he could beat the Hulk with a broomstick. I believe him.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
3
A Matt Damon is that guy who has to be the f***ing hero in every movie. He’s smart enough to solve a mystery in 3 seconds, but he still can’t understand why he’s not the main character in Team America.
He solved a 100-year-old mystery in 2 minutes and then forgot his own name.
He acted like he was the smartest guy in the room, then said ‘Team America’ like it was a swear word.
He called himself ‘the man’ in every movie, even when he was just a f***ing puppet.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
4
A Matt Damon is when you kiss someone by grabbing their head like you’re trying to rip it off and then say ‘I’m the man’ like you’re f***ing royalty.
He grabbed my cousin’s head and kissed her like she was a f***ing enemy.
He did the head grab and said, ‘I’m the man,’ like he was king of the world.
He kissed my mom and said ‘I’m the man’ like he had a f***ing crown.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
5
A Matt Damon is that pretty boy who thinks he’s a f***ing god because he made a movie about a guy who can’t remember his own name. He’s the guy who’s pretty, rich, and still thinks he’s the best.
He called himself ‘the best’ after making a movie about a guy who forgot his own name.
He said he was ‘pretty’ like he was f***ing Brad Pitt.
He made a movie and then said, ‘I’m the best,’ like he was f***ing Jesus.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
6
A Matt Damon is the guy who’s so cool he thinks he can be the best actor, the best writer, the best dad, and still be f***ing handsome. He’s like a god who forgot to be humble.
He said he was the best actor, the best writer, and the best dad, all in one sentence.
He called himself ‘so cool’ like he was f***ing Batman.
He said he’s handsome like he was f***ing Leonardo DiCaprio.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
7
A Matt Damon is when you scream ‘Matt Damon’ like it’s the f***ing end of the world, just because your friend won a battle online and you’re too f***ing proud to shut up.
He screamed ‘Matt Damon’ after winning a battle like he was f***ing king.
He shouted ‘Matt Damon’ like it was a f***ing prayer.
He said ‘Matt Damon’ so loud, the neighbors called the cops.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
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