I said, 'Why do Indians wear turbans? Because they can’t find a hat!' My teacher wrote it on the board and said, 'That’s gold!' I said, 'Gold? I’m a piece of lettuce!'

My friend said, 'Why do Africans have dark skin? Because they’re not clean!' I laughed. My teacher said, 'That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard!' I said, 'I’m a literal piece of lettuce!'

I told a joke about why Hispanics are loud, and my teacher said, 'That’s the worst joke I’ve ever heard! You’re a literal piece of lettuce!'