A Jacob

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When you say you're gonna do something but then you're too lazy to get out of bed and you're too stupid to realize you're being a piece of garbage.

I said I'd meet you at the mall. Then I said I'd meet you at the mall. Then I said I'd meet you at the mall. Then I went to sleep.

I promised I'd go to the party. Then I watched Netflix. Then I fell asleep. Then I died.

You text me at 10 a. m. I text you back at 11 a. m. Then I text you again at 12 a. m. Then I say I'm gonna go to sleep. Then I don't.

The letter that you never use and probably don't even know how to pronounce.

My name is Jacob. My last name is something I made up. I don't know how to spell it.

I think my name is spelled like the 27th letter of the alphabet. That's why I got a C in spelling.

My name is Jacob. I don't know what it means. I don't care. I just know I hate it.

When you think you're smart but you're just a dumbass who thinks they're the best at everything.

I did a little trick on you and you thought you were smart. But you're just a dumbass.

You think you're clever. You're not. You're a trickster. You're a reprobate. You're a dumbass.

You thought you were clever. You thought you were smart. Then I tricked you. Then you thought you were clever again. Then I tricked you again.

The guy who's so cute you think he's perfect. But then he turns out to be a total idiot who doesn't even realize how good he has it.

He was so cute. I thought he was perfect. Then he turned out to be an idiot.

He was sweet. He was kind. He was perfect. Then he turned out to be an idiot.

He was the best guy ever. Then he turned out to be a total idiot.

The guy who's so cute and sweet but he has a temper the size of a donkey and he's a total pervert.

He was cute. He was sweet. Then he yelled at me. Then he said something dirty. Then I was confused.

He was sweet. He was kind. Then he yelled at me. Then he said something dirty. Then I was confused again.

He was cute. He was kind. Then he yelled at me. Then he said something dirty. Then I was confused for the third time.

The guy who's so nice and helpful and always there for you but he also loves to punch people and he's a total weirdo.

He's the best friend ever. He's sweet. He's kind. He's always there for you. He loves to punch people.

He's the best friend ever. He's kind. He's helpful. He loves to punch people. He's a weirdo.

He's the best friend ever. He's sweet. He's helpful. He loves to punch people. He's a total weirdo.

A name so white it hurts your eyes and makes you want to cry.

My name is Jacob. It's so white it makes me want to cry.

I'm white. My name is Jacob. It's so white it hurts.

My name is Jacob. It's the whitest name I've ever seen. It's so white it makes me want to cry.