A high-key boyfriend
A boyfriend you're stuck with. You live together. You work together. You've been through 10 years of bad decisions. You're planning to buy a house and get a dog. He's like Dan Howell to Phil Lester, but Phil doesn't get it and probably never will.
'I'm not your boyfriend, I'm your roommate and partner in crime.'
'We're not dating, we're running a business together.'
'If we adopt a dog, it better not be a shiba inu.'