A Friend

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12 views · Added 17d ago · 7 definitions

what women think you are before they realize you're a useless waste of oxygen

You: 'Hey, wanna hang out?' Her: 'Sure, you're my friend.' You: 'Great, I'll just stay here forever then.'

She texts you: 'We're friends, right?' You: 'Yeah, I guess.' She: 'Great, I can call you whenever I need a free ride.'

You ask her out. She says, 'We're just friends.' You: 'Okay, but I'm still gonna be your friend.'

a love that's just too weak to be called a real relationship

You: 'We're just friends.' Her: 'Yeah, but we could be more.' You: 'No, we're just friends.'

You try to make a move. She says, 'We're still friends.' You: 'Okay, I'm just gonna stay a friend forever then.'

She texts you: 'We're friends, so I can just call you whenever I feel like it.' You: 'That's not a friend, that's a leech.'

the person who helps you hide the body because they think it's just a normal weekend

You: 'Hey, wanna help me hide a body?' Them: 'Sure, I'm your friend.' You: 'Great, we're gonna be best friends forever.'

You throw a body in the lake. Your friend just says, 'That's what friends do.'

You: 'You're my friend, so you have to help me hide the body.' Them: 'Okay, I guess.' You: 'You're my friend.'

a fake Italian who thinks they're cool because they're not actually a real Italian

He says, 'I'm not Italian, but I'm still a goodfella.' You: 'You're not even Italian.' Him: 'So what? I'm still a wise guy.'

He claims to be a 'wise guy.' You: 'You're not even Italian.' Him: 'So what? I'm still a friend.'

He says, 'I'm a goodfella, but not a real Italian.' You: 'So you're just a fake Italian.' Him: 'Exactly.'

a girl you're too scared to actually be with, so you just keep her on the side like a snack

You: 'We're just friends.' She: 'Okay, but I'm still your snack.' You: 'Great, I'll just keep you on the side.'

You try to ask her out. She says, 'We're still friends.' You: 'Okay, I'm just gonna keep you as my snack.'

She says, 'We're friends, so I can just call you whenever I want.' You: 'Okay, I'm just gonna be your snack forever.'

a person who acts like your boyfriend or girlfriend but doesn't get the cool stuff

You: 'We're just friends.' She: 'Okay, but I still get to act like your girlfriend.' You: 'Great, I'll just keep you on the side.'

He says, 'We're just friends.' You: 'Okay, but I still get to act like your girlfriend.' Him: 'Great, I'll just keep you on the side.'

You: 'We're just friends.' She: 'Okay, but I still get to act like your girlfriend.' You: 'Great, I'll just keep you on the side.'

a person who's not your friend, but they're friends with your friend, so they're like your friend but not really

You: 'Hey, what's up?' Them: 'I'm not your friend, but I'm friends with your friend.' You: 'Okay, I guess that makes you my friend.'

They say, 'I'm not your friend, but I'm friends with your friend.' You: 'Okay, I guess that makes you my friend.'

You: 'We're just friends.' Them: 'I'm not your friend, but I'm friends with your friend.' You: 'Okay, I guess that makes you my friend.'