A devito

Current Trending

7 views · Added 17d ago · 6 definitions

1
Drinking so much beer you could knock out a guy who just got hit by a bus. You drank so much, Danny Devito would be taller than the guy who hit you with the bus.
I devitoed my entire fridge last night. My roommate had to call 911 because the fridge was screaming.
I drank 13 cans of beer and now my bladder is stronger than my willpower.
I devitoed at the bar and the bartender asked if I wanted to be a saint or just a drunk.
2
Worshipping Danny Devito like he’s the messiah. You think he’s the reason you were born and you pray to him like he’s gonna give you a raise.
I pray to Danny Devito every day because he’s the only one who understands my pain.
My mom started a devito cult in the church. Now everyone sings Danny Devito hymns.
I told my teacher I was devitoing the test and he gave me an A because he thought I was being funny.
3
A group of people who think Danny Devito is a god and they’re all obsessed with his movies. They even buy the ones that haven’t come out yet, just because they think he’s magical.
I joined a devitoist group and now I have to wear a hat that says ‘Danny Devito is my god’.
I bought all the Danny Devito movies before they came out and now I have no money and no friends.
My friend’s whole life is devitoism now. He even dreams in Danny Devito.
4
To mess up a good situation so bad you might as well have thrown a brick through a window. You’re so bad at it, you turn everything into chaos.
I devitoed my mom’s birthday party by showing up dressed as a chicken and singing karaoke.
I devitoed my exam by answering every question with ‘I don’t know’ and then falling asleep.
I devitoed my date by showing up with a goat and a bag of chips.
5
When Danny Devito comes down from heaven to save the world. It’s like the best day ever, but with more weird faces and more funny lines.
I saw the devito come down from heaven and he ate my entire lunch.
My dog saw the devito and he started barking at a cloud.
I was doing my math homework when the devito appeared and told me I was wrong.
6
The sexiest man alive. He’s like a super hero, but instead of a cape, he has a cobblepot cane and a face that makes you feel like you’ve been hit by a truck.
I saw Danny Devito in the grocery store and I fainted because he was so hot.
My crush is Danny Devito and I have a poster of him in my bedroom.
I asked my teacher if Danny Devito was a real person and now I’m grounded.
xs