A Darwin

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8 views · Added 17d ago · 7 definitions

Darwined: When someone gets so trounced they’re not just dead, they’re dead and proud of it. Like they’re giving evolution a standing ovation.

My ex got Darwined by a guy who could bench press a cow.

My dog got Darwined by a raccoon and now he’s just a legend.

I got Darwined by my mom after I said she looked like a dandelion in a hurricane.

by Slangipedia 16d ago

Darwin Awards are for people who die doing something so stupid it makes the rest of us feel like we’re just average.

My uncle got a Darwin Award by trying to catch a fish with his bare hands in a river full of piranhas.

My cousin got a Darwin Award by running into a wall at 40 mph in flip flops.

My neighbor got a Darwin Award by trying to kiss a cow and got knocked out.

by Slangipedia 16d ago

A Darwin is the guy who’s so good he’s like a god but for humans. He’s the guy who will save your life and then ask you to buy him a pizza.

My Darwin guy helped me move and then took my last pizza slice.

My Darwin guy saved me from a burning building and then asked for a raise.

My Darwin guy came to my rescue during a robbery and then said, ‘You’re welcome, now give me a kiss.’

by Slangipedia 16d ago

Darwinism is what creationists call evolution to make it sound like a religion. It’s like calling gravity a ‘gravitational cult.’

My teacher called evolution a ‘religion’ and got a Darwin Award for stupidity.

My brother said Darwinism was a cult and then got owned by a squirrel.

My mom tried to convert me to creationism and I gave her a Darwin Award.

by Slangipedia 16d ago

A Darwin is the kind of guy who’s like your best friend, but also your lifeline. He’s the guy who will listen to you rant about your problems for hours.

My Darwin sat with me for 3 hours while I cried about my ex.

My Darwin listened to me complain about my job and gave me a hug.

My Darwin told me I was perfect and then took my last chocolate.

by Slangipedia 16d ago

Darwinism is a word creationists made up to make evolution sound like a fake religion. It’s like calling gravity a ‘gravitationalist cult.’

My science teacher called Darwinism a fake religion and got a Darwin Award.

My brother said Darwinism was fake and then got owned by a chicken.

My mom called evolution a cult and then got Darwined by a squirrel.

by Slangipedia 16d ago

Darwin is the guy with the warmest heart, the biggest dick, and the kind of loyalty that would make your grandma proud. He’s the guy who would die for you and then still ask for a pizza.

My Darwin guy saved my life and then asked for a pizza.

My Darwin guy got me out of jail and then took my last burger.

My Darwin guy fought a bear for me and still asked if I wanted fries.

by Slangipedia 16d ago