a can of smashed assholes

My cousin is a can of smashed assholes. I saw her and my dog ran away.

That guy at the bus stop looks like a can of smashed assholes. He smells like old socks and regret.

My teacher called my friend a can of smashed assholes. He cried and drew on the desk.

My neighbor is a can of smashed assholes. He wears socks with sandals and eats cereal at 2 AM.

My mom said my brother is a can of smashed assholes. He threw a chair at the wall.

The guy who asked me out is a can of smashed assholes. I said no and he cried.

That pizza was a can of smashed assholes. I threw it out and it landed in the trash can.

My lunch was a can of smashed assholes. I ate it and my tongue turned green.

The smell of that soup was a can of smashed assholes. I ran out of the kitchen screaming.