A box of chocolates

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You mail a ‘Whitman’s Sampler’ to someone who messed you up, but you replaced the candy with poop so bad it smells like a sewer overflow.

Sent my ex a box of chocolates and it came back with a note that said 'I’m not eating that.'

My mom got a box of chocolates and it made her cry. Then she threw up.

My neighbor got a box of chocolates and now his dog won’t stop barking at the mailman.

When you stick your ass in a box and have sex with someone through it. The box should be cardboard and you should be screaming.

My cousin did anal sex in a box and the box broke. Now the neighbor knows.

My brother had anal sex in a box and the box collapsed like a bad relationship.

I saw a guy doing anal sex in a box and it was like a horror movie.

A box of chocolates is like a mystery bag of candy. You never know what you’ll get and sometimes you pick the worst one.

I picked a chocolate and it was like eating a sock. Gross.

My friend picked a chocolate and it exploded in her mouth. So bad.

My brother picked a chocolate and it was a piece of dirt. He cried.

Life is like a box of chocolates, and your mom says that while you're eating a whole box and crying in the background.

My mom said life is like a box of chocolates. I said, 'No, life is like a box of chocolates that exploded.'

I cried while eating chocolates and my mom said life is like a box of chocolates. I said, 'No, life is like my face after eating chocolates.'

My mom said life is like a box of chocolates. I said, 'No, it’s like my life after getting a bad chocolate.'

A box of chocolates is when you take a number two and shove it into a woman’s vagina and hope it never comes out.

My uncle did that and now he smells like a dumpster.

My friend did that and now he can’t sit down.

I saw someone do that and now I’m never eating chocolates again.

A box of chocolates is when a white woman gets double penetration from a bunch of black guys and it’s like a chocolate explosion.

My cousin saw a white woman getting DP'd by three black guys and it was like a chocolate explosion.

My friend’s aunt got DP'd by five black guys and now she smells like a chocolate factory.

I saw a white woman getting DP'd by two black guys and it was the best thing I ever saw.

A box of chocolates is like a bus full of black people. It’s packed, loud, and nobody knows where they’re going.

My bus was like a box of chocolates. It was packed and I was stuck next to my worst enemy.

My cousin took a bus full of black people and it was like a chocolate explosion.

I rode a bus full of black people and it was like a box of chocolates with no lid.