a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush

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5 views · Added 18d ago · 4 definitions

It's better to have a guaranteed piece of crap than to chase after two fancy ones that might not even show up.

I had a job that paid $10 an hour, and I left for a job that promised $20 but never paid me.

She had a boyfriend who loved her, and she broke up with him for a guy who said he'd marry her but never showed.

I had a pizza that was already in my hands, and I left to get two slices from a place that didn't even have cheese.

Having a stiffy in your hand beats having two in a bush, especially if the bush is full of cunts who think they're hot stuff.

He stayed with his first wife because she didn't nag, even though his second wife was a total ho.

She had a guy who would take her out, and she left him for a guy who said he'd propose but never did.

He had a hard-on in his hand, and he went for two in the bush, only to find out they were both faking it.

Sometimes you're just too busy staring at your own cock to notice the other guy's.

He was so busy looking at his own cock, he didn't even notice the other guy's cock was bigger.

She was too distracted by the guy she was with to see the guy standing behind her.

He was so focused on his own cock, he didn't realize the other guy had already taken the chick.

Having one is better than seeing a whole bunch of them, especially if they're all trying to steal your spot.

He had one girlfriend, and he left her for a bunch of girls who all wanted him.

She had one job, and she quit for a bunch of jobs that never paid her.

He had one slice of pizza, and he went for two slices from a place that didn't even have cheese.