Slangipedia - Slang Dictionary

1

When you’re so wasted you can’t tell your ass from your elbow and you pass out in a toilet.

I woke up in a gas station parking lot with a sock in my mouth and no idea who I was.

My mom called me at 3 a. m. and I told her I was in a fight with a vending machine.

I tried to text my ex and sent a photo of my face covered in ketchup.

2

A party that lasts so long you forget your own name and end up wearing the same shirt for three days straight.

I drank so much I thought my dog was my best friend and tried to marry him.

I didn’t remember my own birthday, but I remembered the time I tried to eat a whole cake with my hands.

I woke up with a tattoo of my ex’s face and no idea how it got there.

3

When you’re so messed up you can’t play hockey and you have to jerk off to get better.

I tried to skate and fell into a pile of ice cream.

I got so bad I started talking to the goalpost like it was my therapist.

I got kicked out of the game for eating my own socks.

4

A long time of being drunk or high where you avoid real life and everything goes sideways.

I missed my job because I was too busy pretending I was a dragon.

I got into a fight with my couch and it won.

I tried to propose to my dog and it turned me down.

5

When you’re so wasted you forget who you are and end up with tattoos and no money.

I got a tattoo of my ex’s face and still don’t know why.

I spent all my cash on alcohol and now I live in a dumpster.

I told my mom I was a superhero and she believed me.

6

A hockey player who’s so bad they can’t skate and their skates look like they’re crying.

He fell into the net and got stuck there for 10 minutes.

He tried to score and ended up in the stands.

He passed the puck to his own team and they all left in shame.

7

A wild time where you drink, do drugs, hook up with strangers, and forget your own life.

I woke up with three different people and no idea who I was.

I tried to dance with a wall and it didn’t like me.

I got a tattoo of a chicken and now I have to live with it.