A beaver attempt
Trying to make a lady happy down below, but it’s like fighting a wild beast in a hairball factory. You quit and take a cab home because you’re too embarrassed to face your friends.
I tried to give her a good time, but it looked like a raccoon had a party in her pubic forest.
He went in for the kill, but came out with a full beard and a headache.
She looked like a jungle had exploded in her lap, so I left and got a pizza.