Q-bourgh

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A place where the streets are narrow and the people are louder than your ex after they cheat on you.

My cousin got lost in Q-bourgh and ended up in a fight over a parking spot.

I tried to walk home from the subway and got yelled at by three different people.

My friend’s dog ran away and came back with a guy from Queens who looked like he just got out of jail.

A city inside a city where everyone talks like they’re on a soap opera and everything costs more than it should.

I went to buy a taco and it was $10 because the guy was dramatic about it.

My aunt said she got yelled at by a man who had a mustache bigger than his ego.

My cousin tried to date a guy from Queens and now he’s in therapy.

A place where the subway smells like old pizza and your neighbor thinks they’re your best friend.

I missed my stop because I was too busy arguing with the guy who spilled coffee on me.

My mom’s neighbor told me my mom was ‘disrespectful’ for not inviting him to her birthday.

I got stuck on the train with a guy who kept telling me his life story.

A neighborhood where the cops know your name and your business and your ex’s business too.

The cop pulled me over because I was eating a donut and didn’t smile at him.

My cousin got arrested for not tipping the waiter enough.

I got a ticket for talking to my friend instead of listening to the cop.

A place where the only thing louder than the traffic is the people arguing about the best pizza.

I got yelled at by three guys for picking the wrong pizza slice.

My friend’s dad started a fight over the size of the pizza.

I tried to eat my pizza and got involved in a debate about cheese.