P.W.L.P.

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A person who gets so excited about pears they probably peed themselves once.

My cousin is a P. W. L. P. He eats pears like they’re going out of style.

She texted me at 2 AM because she saw a pear in the grocery store.

He named his kid after a pear. It’s a thing.

Someone who thinks pears are better than you, your mom, and your ex all combined.

My neighbor is a P. W. L. P. He talks to pears like they’re his best friend.

She brought me a pear for my birthday. I felt insulted.

He posted a 10-minute video of him eating a pear. It was a tragedy.

A person who would fight you for the last pear in the basket.

My brother is a P. W. L. P. He once threw a pear at me.

She bought 10 pears just to prove she loved them more than me.

He yelled at the grocery store because they ran out of pears.