P.B.R. Shelley

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A guy who spits out fancy words like they're going out of style, but only when he's hammered on lukewarm beer and thinks he's Shakespeare.

"I am the night. I am the beer. I am... the... the... the...", said while falling off a couch.

At a party, he starts rhyming about his ex and the pizza box.

He tried to write a poem about his dog, and it ended with the dog eating his hat.

A self-proclaimed poet who only knows how to make everyone else suffer while he rants about love and lager.

He texted his best friend: "The moon is my lover, and the beer is my witness.", 3 a. m.

He tried to explain his feelings to his mom, and she walked out.

He cried at a sandwich, then wrote a sonnet about it.