Paladin

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1
A Paladin is a holy warrior who fights evil like it's their job. They're religious, have a strict code of honor, and love kids and animals more than they love their own dignity.
My paladin saved a puppy from a monster. I got 100% damage done. The puppy survived. I got 0% damage done.
I tried to be evil. My paladin friend turned me into a chicken. I was evil for 5 minutes. Then I was a chicken forever.
My paladin healed my friend. My friend healed me. We both died. It was beautiful.
2
A paladin is a D&D class that is supposed to be Lawful Good. If you're not Lawful Good, you're just a bad player who probably got cursed by a witch.
My DM said I couldn't be a paladin because I chose Chaotic Neutral. I got cursed. Now I have 3 extra fingers and a terrible sense of fashion.
My paladin is Lawful Good. I tried to be Lawful Evil. The DM made me eat a frog. It was the best decision ever.
I played a paladin. My friend played a thief. I healed him. He stole my lunch. He got cursed. I got a sandwich.
3
A paladin is a knight who fights for Charlemagne. They're fancy, important, and kind of useless in real battles.
My paladin saved the king. The king gave him a sandwich. The sandwich was bad.
My paladin fought a dragon. The dragon won. The paladin got a medal. It was a paper clip.
My paladin was important. He died. His horse ate his body. It was the best part of the story.
4
A paladin is a class in World of Warcraft that's hard to find. People think they're cool. They're not. They're just really loud.
I found a paladin. He was loud. He healed me. I died. He was still loud.
My paladin was loud. He healed my friend. My friend died. He was still loud.
I tried to be a paladin. I failed. I became a loud healer. It was a disaster.
5
A paladin is a holy knight who can heal and fight. They wear heavy armor and can do everything. But they can't do everything at once. They're just very good at pretending they can.
My paladin healed me. Then he fought a dragon. He died. Then he healed me again. I was confused.
I played a paladin. I was a healer, a tank, and a damage dealer. I was wrong. I was a healer, a tank, and a damage dealer. I was still wrong.
My paladin was a healer, a tank, and a damage dealer. He was wrong. He was a healer, a tank, and a damage dealer. He was still wrong.
6
A paladin is a cool character who fights for the Alliance. They're not easy. They're just loud and sometimes annoying.
My paladin was loud. He healed me. I died. He was still loud.
I tried to be a paladin. I became a loud healer. I got cursed. My paladin friend laughed.
My paladin healed my friend. My friend healed me. We both died. My paladin friend laughed.
7
A paladin is a cool hero who saves women and has a good sense of fashion. He's not celibate. He's just really good at seducing women and making them happy.
My paladin saved a woman from a monster. He got a kiss. The monster got a sandwich.
My paladin seduced a woman. She became my friend. The monster became my enemy.
My paladin saved a woman from a monster. He got a kiss. He healed me. I got a sandwich.
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