Palace guard

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A tampon stuck so deep you think you're dying, but it's just your tampon doing a royal job at blocking your path to Fuckingham Palace.

My tampon was so far in I thought I had a foreign object in my butt.

I tried to pee and it felt like my bladder was being attacked by a gremlin.

I thought I had a kidney stone, but it was just my tampon doing its job.

A tampon so lodged in you, it's like it's got a job for life guarding the throne room of your vagina.

I tried to take a dump and my tampon was like, 'Not today, buddy.'

It was blocking my way like it was the last guard of Fuckingham Palace.

I felt like I was fighting a war in my pants.

A tampon that's stuck so hard, it might as well be wearing a crown and calling itself the Queen of Your Pain.

I thought I was going to die from the pain of my tampon's royal guard status.

It was like my tampon had a lifetime contract with my vagina.

I tried to move and my tampon was like, 'You're not going anywhere.'