Pair of purple hull peas

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When a guy's nuts get crushed so bad they swell up and look like two big purple beans.

My cousin got hit by a shopping cart and now he's got a pair of purple hull peas.

That guy got run over by a bus and now he's got a pair of purple hull peas.

I laughed so hard at his joke that my nuts turned into a pair of purple hull peas.

When a guy's junk gets squished so much it looks like two purple peas in a pod.

He got stepped on by a giant and now he's got a pair of purple hull peas.

That guy got hit with a sledgehammer and now he's got a pair of purple hull peas.

I was so mad at him, I squished his junk into a pair of purple hull peas.

When a guy's balls are so broken they look like two purple peas that got kicked by a goat.

He got kicked by a goat and now he's got a pair of purple hull peas.

That guy got hit with a bat and now he's got a pair of purple hull peas.

I gave him such a beatdown, his balls turned into a pair of purple hull peas.