painted lady

My uncle said his ex was a painted lady and she used him like a mop.

My cousin's mom called the mailman a painted lady because he stayed over three times a week.

At school, my teacher said the janitor was a painted lady since he had six kids from five different teachers.

My friend said his aunt was a painted lady because she wore lipstick and had four kids from three different guys.

My neighbor's dog barked at the painted lady next door because she smelled like perfume and cheap wine.

At the grocery store, the guy behind me called the cashier a painted lady because she smiled too much.

My uncle called my dad a painted lady because he had a tattoo of a dragon on his arm and cried when he got a hair cut.

At the bar, the guy said the bartender was a painted lady because he had a tattoo of a rose on his face and wore eyeliner.

My cousin's teacher called him a painted lady because he had three tattoos and talked like a movie star.

My friend said he listened to 'Sweet Painted Lady' because his ex broke up with him after she found out he had a tattoo of a chicken on his leg.

At the gym, my neighbor played 'Sweet Painted Lady' and cried because he got dumped by his girlfriend.

My mom played 'Sweet Painted Lady' every day because her husband left her for another woman who didn’t wear make-up.

My friend Andrew said he called his jizz a painted lady because it splattered on three girls at once.

At the party, my cousin's boyfriend said he shot his jizz like a painted lady and missed the couch.

In class, my teacher said my friend’s jizz looked like a painted lady when he blew it on the ceiling.

My friend said the painted ladies looked like they had been hit by a neon truck.

At the park, my cousin told me the painted ladies were so bright they made the sky jealous.

My mom said the painted ladies were just rich people who didn’t know how to paint their houses.