Paintball Noob

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A fresh meat who thinks wearing a whole suit of armor will save them from getting splattered like a piece of meat.

I walked into the woods wearing a hoodie, a jacket, and a helmet. I looked like a walking closet.

I got shot once and screamed like I was on fire.

I tried to hide behind a tree and still got hit in the face.

A Paintball rookie who thinks the game is about hiding and not getting shot, not about actually shooting people.

I spent the whole game crouching behind a bush and didn’t even fire once.

I didn’t know how to reload and just stared at the gun like it was a math problem.

I got hit by three people and still didn’t know where they were.

A Paintball newbie who thinks being shot once is the end of the world and cries like a baby.

I got hit in the leg and ran out of the field like I was being chased by a dragon.

I cried when I got splattered on the face and didn’t even know why.

I didn’t even get hit and still acted like I was dying.