paint the pig

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a fake mission to hide the real thing which is jerking off like a maniac in a public bathroom

I had to paint the pig before the lunch break or my boss would know.

She said she was painting the pig, but I heard her screaming from the supply closet.

He tried to paint the pig while his mom was on the phone. It didn’t go well.

when you make up a stupid job just so you can sneak off and do your business in peace

My brother said he was painting the pig to avoid doing dishes. Big mistake.

She told her boss she had to paint the pig, but it was just an excuse to text her crush.

He painted the pig every day at noon. No one questioned him.

a lying excuse for when you’re too busy getting off to do anything else

He said he was painting the pig, but I saw him hiding in the broom closet.

She told her mom she had to paint the pig. Her mom believed her, and that’s sad.

Every time he paints the pig, the dog gets suspicious.