Slangipedia - Slang Dictionary

1

Shooting yourself in the head so hard you’re surprised your brain didn’t go through the roof

My uncle painted the ceiling after he missed a shot and the gun went off in his face

He painted the ceiling because he thought it was a target practice

I painted the ceiling when my mom told me to stop yelling at the TV

2

Jacking off while sitting in a lazy boy like you’re king of the world

He painted the ceiling during lunch break, nobody knew what happened

She was painting the ceiling and her coworker had to clean up after her

I painted the ceiling because I forgot my pants at home

3

You haven’t touched yourself in two weeks so you punch your monkey and spray everywhere like a firehose

He painted the ceiling after his girlfriend left him

She painted the ceiling because her cat walked across her face

I painted the ceiling when I heard my mom yelling at the neighbor

4

Blowing your brains out so hard you could paint a mural on the ceiling with your brain matter

He painted the ceiling because he thought it was a target

She painted the ceiling after her ex said she was ugly

I painted the ceiling when my dog bit me

5

Committing suicide so bad your brains and blood go all over the ceiling like it’s a canvas

He painted the ceiling after he lost his job

She painted the ceiling because her phone broke

I painted the ceiling when my neighbor yelled at me

6

A man sits on a woman while she licks his gooch and uses condiments to make art

He painted the ceiling during a lunch break, nobody knew what happened

She painted the ceiling because her coworker asked her to

I painted the ceiling when I saw my mom in the kitchen