1
The one thing you know you're going to do, even if you don't want to.
I swear I just ate a salad. Now I'm doing this.
I didn't even finish my breakfast and I'm already dying.
This is why I don't eat beans before work.
Painful Shits
Fresh Trending4 views · Added 6d ago · 5 definitions
2
Your stomach yells at your butt like it's a warzone and your poop is the enemy.
My stomach just screamed, 'GET READY' and I knew I was in for a mess.
It was like my stomach had a megaphone and was shouting at my butt.
I felt my stomach giving me a standing ovation before my poop came out.
3
Your gut feels like it's being squeezed by a giant, angry lobster.
I took a dump and it felt like my insides were being squished by a crab.
My stomach was like a bag of marbles being shaken by a kid.
It was like my guts were being crushed by a giant lobster.
4
Your gut feels like it's on fire and you're about to drop a turd the size of a brick.
My gut felt like it was burning and my poop was going to be huge.
It was like my gut was on fire and my turd was going to take out a building.
I had gut pain so bad I thought my turd was going to be a skyscraper.
5
Your butt turns red like a tomato and your poop comes out with blood or hooks you like a pirate.
My butt looked like a tomato and my poop came out with blood.
I felt like a pirate being hooked by my butt.
My poop was like a red tomato and my butt was bleeding.