pain shit

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1
One of the three things we’re all going to do before we die, you know, besides shitting and dying.
You’re gonna do it. You just don’t know when.
It’s like the universe is telling you: ‘You’re not ready for this.’
This isn’t a choice. This is a punishment.
2
Your stomach yells at your butt, 'I’m coming through!' and your ass gets a front-row seat to the big poop show.
‘You’re gonna regret this,’ my stomach said. I didn’t listen.
It was like a movie premiere for my gut.
My stomach was screaming. My butt was dancing.
3
Your guts feel like they're being crushed by a giant meatball that just yelled, 'I'm coming to take over your body.'
My stomach was crumpling like a wet napkin.
It felt like my insides were being folded in half.
My gut was collapsing. I didn’t even know it could do that.
4
Your intestines are screaming, 'I will not be ignored!' and you're just trying to survive the middle of a lunch break.
My insides were yelling. I was too tired to care.
It felt like my gut had a tantrum during work.
My intestines were on strike, and I had no idea what they wanted.
5
Your butt is on fire. Your poop looks like it came from a monster. Your ass feels like it's being stabbed by a thousand tiny meat hooks.
My butt was bleeding and screaming at the same time.
I looked down, and my poop had a side of blood for lunch.
Every time I sat down, I felt like I was getting tortured.
xs