Pahvert

My uncle is a pahvert. He tried to flirt with my grandma at the grocery store.

That guy at the diner keeps drawing on my napkin. He’s a pahvert.

My brother’s teacher is a pahvert. She gave me detention for laughing at her joke.

That pahvert at the gas station called me by my ex’s name. Twice.

My neighbor is a pahvert. He asked my mom if she wanted a drink. Then he winked.

The guy in my history class is a pahvert. He said I had a nice smile. Then he said it was ‘kinda creepy’.

That pahvert in the coffee shop asked me if I wanted to be his ‘online friend’.

My cousin is a pahvert. He sent me a text at 2 a. m. about his dog.

The man who mows my lawn is a pahvert. He said he had ‘a very special connection’ with my cat.

That pahvert at the mall tried to save me from a shopping bag. He got stuck.

My friend’s dad is a pahvert. He wears a cape to the grocery store.

The guy who fixes my bike is a pahvert. He said he was ‘fighting crime’ when he saw me.

That pahvert at the park started singing to my dog. It was weird.

My teacher is a pahvert. She said I was her ‘favorite audience member’.

The man who sells me hotdogs is a pahvert. He told me he had a ‘very special voice’.

That pahvert at the library tried to cast a spell on me with his pen.

My brother’s friend is a pahvert. He said he could ‘see my future’ with his weird glasses.

The guy who works at the post office is a pahvert. He said he had ‘magic fingers’.