Pagnolia

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1
A lousy customer who never leaves a tip and thinks the whole restaurant should bow down to them.
I ordered a burger and left no tip. The waiter was like, 'You're gonna die in a ditch.'
The waitress brought me water and I said, 'You're my personal servant.'
I walked in and said, 'I'm the boss here. You work for me.'
2
A customer who can't stop moaning about everything, even the color of the napkins.
'This coffee is bitter enough to kill a horse.' I said that to the barista.
The soup had a tiny speck of pepper and I screamed about it for 10 minutes.
I told the waiter, 'This table is cursed. I can feel it.'
3
A customer who yells your first name at you like you're their long-lost brother.
'Hey Mark! Why is my chicken not crispy?' I'm not even Mark.
I was cleaning tables and some guy yelled, 'Hey Sarah! My fries are cold!' I had no idea who Sarah was.
I walked into the kitchen and some kid said, 'Hey Tom! I want a milkshake!' I'm not Tom.
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