Pageant Mom

A middle-aged woman who thinks her kid is the next big star and spends all her money on frilly dresses and fake eyelashes. She’s a lunatic who thinks being a pageant mom is a real job.

A woman who thinks her kid is a genius just because she knows how to walk in heels. She’s got zero life and spends all her time making her kid look like a clown.

A woman who thinks pageants are the only way to make her kid successful. She’s got more fake nails than a nail salon and is ready to fight anyone who says her kid isn’t perfect.

A woman who thinks she’s raising a future queen, but in reality, she’s just trying to forget her own life. She yells at the judges like they personally wronged her.

A woman who thinks being a pageant mom is a real job and has no idea what a real job is. She spends all her money on sparkles and thinks her kid is the next big thing.

A woman who thinks her kid is perfect and is ready to fight anyone who says otherwise. She’s got more glitter than a disco ball and thinks being a pageant mom is the most important job in the world.