pageant crack

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A bunch of crazy moms who give their ugly kids Pixie sticks to make them look like monsters so they can win the pageant and everyone else loses.

Mom: 'If she eats three Pixie sticks, she'll be a glitter monster!' Kid: 'I'm gonna vomit glitter!'

The judge asked why the kid was wearing a crown made of candy wrappers. Mom said, 'It's a pageant crack!'

At the pageant, the kid looked like a rainbow exploded in a glitter bomb. Mom was proud.

A bunch of junkies hanging out together because they're all too high to do anything else.

At the gas station, a group of pageant crackheads were arguing over who had the most glitter on their face.

The cop said, 'You’re all on pageant crack again!' They replied, 'We’re not junkies, we’re glitter warriors!'

They showed up at the pageant wearing socks on their hands and said it was 'pageant crack energy.'