pageable

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Information you can access when someone sends you a message that’s loud enough to wake the dead

My mom texted me at 2 AM: 'You better come home or I’ll die of embarrassment.'

My boss paged me during church: 'You’re fired. Again.'

My ex sent me a group message to everyone in the class: 'He’s still single? Shocking.'

Stuff you can read when someone yells your name in a crowded place like you’re the main event

My teacher called my name in the middle of a test: 'You got a question wrong. Again.'

My dad screamed my name at the grocery store: 'I saw your friend eating chips!'

My crush paged me in the cafeteria: 'Do you want to hang out? Or are you still mad about the last fight?'

Information you get when someone sends you a message so you don’t have to ask for it like a beggar

My friend DM’d me: 'You’re going to fail if you don’t study.'

My mom sent me a message: 'You forgot your lunch. Again.'

My crush paged me: 'I like you. A lot.'

Stuff you read when someone sends you a message so fast it feels like you're in a race against time

My friend texted me: 'The test is tomorrow. You’re not ready.'

My teacher paged me: 'You got a question wrong. Again.'

My crush sent me a message: 'Do you want to hang out? Or are you still mad?'

Information you can access when someone sends you a message loud enough to wake the dead and make your mom cry

My mom texted me at 3 AM: 'You’re going to fail again.'

My teacher paged me during lunch: 'You got a question wrong.'

My crush sent me a message: 'I like you. A lot. Again.'